And A Child Shall Lead Them

I spent the entire spring semester working on a research paper on civility in America.  My research documented the increasing rudeness shown in social interactions, especially by people of different ages.  I have seen it.  I have been on the receiving end of it.  I have probably even been on the giving end of it.  I KNOW I have been on the giving end of it. 

Experts claim there are various reasons for this decline in how we treat each other. Stress is big. Being in a hurry. Lack of concern for the feelings of other people. Impatience. Selfishness.  Narcissism. Intolerance.  These last ones are really big!  People, especially young people, have no patience for anyone that is different or in any way inconveniences them. Basically, we are polite when it benefits us to be polite (at work, when we want something from the other person, etc.) but careless, impatient, unthinking and rude at other times.  And this rudeness is prevalent throughout society: at work, at school, on the road, in the media, in our homes.

It is that last area -- our homes -- that I have been more and more concerned with.  More specifically, in MY home.  I know I have taught my children about being polite to other people, but to them sisters don't seem to count at "other people" deserving of restrained responses. After watching some interactions as they fight for control of the bathroom or the television, I have worried that maybe I have failed as a mother to teach them the manners and skills required to succeed in the adult world which they are soon to enter.

And then my children surprise me. Today as we drove home and turned on our street we saw this:

The man in the wheelchair was going about 1 mph.  Every few feet he would stop and punch a button on his phone. It was clear he was using some kind of automated phone system and was completely engrossed in his call.  He was unaware that we were at a total standstill, waiting for him to move to the side or speed up.  I wasn't in a hurry, but was ready to honk to let him know we were there.  As I moved my hand my girls yelled, "NO!" and grabbed my phone, taking the above photo.

Some might think their reaction was mocking or rude, making fun of the older man.  But they were grinning from ear to ear, much like we adults do when watching a small child who is completely engrossed in making mud pies or splashing in a water puddle.  They kept saying, "That is so awesome!" and "I love it!"  And while they had been a touch grumpy on the ride home from school, they were now, and have remained for hours, cheerful and happy.

The man put away his phone and continued on his way, still blissfully unaware that he had delayed us in any way. And that made my girls even happier. As he drove off I realized that maybe, just maybe, my children have learned something from me, after all.  But I KNOW I have learned something from them.

Adventures at the DMV

While we were camping with my family a few weeks ago, Uncle David gave Emily her first driving lesson.  Other than nearly driving into a ditch because she forgot to brake as she rounded a corner at 20 mph, Uncle David said she did great.

It was a bad decision to give her that thrilling taste of driving.  She has bugged me DAILY ever since and today we finally went to get her driver's permit.  SIX HOURS LATER, she passed the test the first try.  What a day!

Before we could begin, Emily's dad and I had to get our signatures notarized.  Apparently, divorced parents have to do such a thing.  Luckily, we both still bank at the same credit union, so the process took (literally!) about 2 minutes.

Near that credit union is a DMV office.  Logic would tell you that would be a good place for Emily to take her test.  Logic would be wrong.  We stood in line for nearly 20 minutes, only to be told that their computers were down.  Since the driver's test is computerized, we were out of luck.

We drove 10 miles to another DMV location.  They hand out numbers to all customers.  The line TO GET A NUMBER stretched out the door and halfway to the parking lot!  I left the girls in line and went in to ask if their computers were working for driver's tests.  I was told yes; however, we stood in line ten minutes and never moved.  We left.

The book Emily used to study listed several other offices, but none are close.  We decided to drive 15 miles to a third location, hoping for a shorter line.  The line was shorter, but after standing in line for another 20 minutes we were informed that they needed additional information, something the first office could have told us but didn't. We had to drive home to get the missing information and then drive back.  Luckily, they allowed us to cut to the front of the line upon our return.  Even so, it still took us an additional 90 minutes for Emily to take the test (15 minutes) and then to get her picture taken and get the actual license.

Toward the end, a DMV worker explained the chaos to me.  Sunday night, there was a huge storm here in town.  The storm knocked out the state's main server, causing every office in the state to be closed on Monday, which just happened to be the first day of the month....their busiest day of the month!  So today, Tuesday, was twice as busy because everyone who couldn't take care of business yesterday had to try again today.  That explains why one office still had downed computers, too. 

I am SO glad Emily passed the test the first time!  She gets double brownie points for that.